himynameisminnie

i made myself lunch an hour ago because i hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. yoga completed zen’d me out, so when i got home, i packed a bowl and enjoyed it while i took a shower. now typically when i get high, i eat. this isn’t because i get particularly afflicted by the munchies, but rather that i most often smoke before i’m about to eat. purposely, so that i don’t feel so bad munching out. and this normally happens when i go out with friends on a special occasion, so i’d let myself over-eat anyways. but today i just felt like smoking, and believe me, the shower is the best place to do it. 

so needless to say, i was feeling pretty in-touch with my body, and i decided that i needed to eat for the sake of not starving myself. i made scrambled egg-white on toast with a slice of havarti. it was pretty delicious and somewhere around 300 calories (mostly from the cheese). as i was taking my sandwhich out of the oven, i thought about going to get a gingerale to drink because i’d picked some up yesterday. all that was going through my head was that “i normally drink a gingerale for lunch”, rather than “do i really want a gingerale?”. it was so weird. i need to get more into listening to my body. because i normally snack all day when i’m doing homework (which seems to be every day of my life these days…), my mind was telling me that i should probably start snacking. but since i actually didn’t need the food, and <i>listened</i> to my body this time, i now feel a million times better! i’ll definitely stay under my calorie goal (1200), <i>plus</i> i had an amazing workout today! yay!

i went and did some kick-ass yoga this morning. i have been going to the same gym/community centre for the past three weeks, and although i’d been doing yoga everyday, i wasn’t seeing any results. i love yoga a lot, and spent last summer and fall doing yoga at my university on wednesday nights. every week for the 13-week semester, and then two weeks off. in hind-sight, i should have been doing additional classes each week in order to fully benefit, but i still was getting more and more challenged each week as i strove to perfect the poses. now that i’m back living with my parents, i go to the gym and yoga classes on a fairly regular basis, but the yoga normally sucks! the ladies they have instructing aren’t necessarily formally trained in yoga, so it’s mostly just repeating poses without any increase in difficulty. plus, since it’s a community centre, its mostly old people in the 10:30am class I go to every day (the <i>only time</i> they offer yoga, btw) and so the instructor goes super easy on them even if she’s a decent yoga teacher. HOWEVER, all that changed today! the yoga instructor was this amazing lady who’s taking over the tuesday class for the month of June! she had been on vacation at a <i>yoga retreat</i> and was now going to be teaching in the community. i got my ass kicked, and although it wasn’t as hard as the class i took at school, it was still a challenge for me. i also learnt some new poses, and she actually came around and corrected my posture which is great because i have terrible posture!

phew. what a yoga rant! i just feel so much better after a great workout, so i hope this continues!

i woke up at 8:50 this morning, even though my alarm had been set for 8:15. that’s not too bad right? i’m still in bed though, trying to motivate myself to get up. i know that the first rule to getting up early is “just get out of bed”, but sometimes i like to be a rebel :)

once i have breakfast i’m going to yoga and then working out. i’ve got a bunch of school work to do as well, so i’ll be pumping myself with tea and water to get me through. 

does anyone have any suggestions on how to change up my routine into getting up early?

ok, so last night i spent a significant amount of time searching tumblr for some really, really motivating weightloss blogs. surprisingly, the majority of people who claim to be losing weight, or are affiliated with some sort of eating disorder, actually only post thinspo that is normally reblogged. this depressed me for quite a while, but then i found some actual motivation. there are some of you out there who are legitimately making life changes. you’re turning into better people, and that’s really inspiring. this made me reflect on my experience with weightloss, and what i’ve been doing to become successful.

first off, i had a tumblr for about 8 months which i started last summer, and i was relatively successful at restricting calories and working out. then i met a boy and everything went off the deep end. i deleted my account in a fit of rage one night in february because i was drunk and deeply frustrated with myself for being so unmotivated and sporadic with my diet and exercise regime. but here i am, 3 months later, and ready to do it right this time.

as much as i’d love to lie and cheat and write things on here that aren’t true… that’s not going to get me to where I want to be physically. looking at thinspo is definitely inspiring, but sitting on my ass in front of my computer it not. i’m going to use this as an outlet for my frustrations and struggles, but also as an honest document of my progress. i’m a real-life girl, and in real-life, people struggle. 

i’m going to write a lot, let me warn you. that’s who I am and what i do. i write. but i think this will have a really good impact on my overall success. and really, i don’t give a fuck if you don’t read, because i’m doing this for myself :)

no rules, no rewards, no punishments. just sheer will-power, attainable goals, and a life change. let’s do this the right way. yes, i’m still going to restrict and over work my body, but i’m not going to lie about it this time. lying is only cheating myself, and clearly from the lack of improvement to my body, it’s not working. 

i’m still going to post thinspo regularly, but starting tomorrow i’m going to start regularly updating my daily food intake, exercise, trials and tribulations. 

if you’re ready to join me, i think we can all be certified fucking hotties for the summer.